Ages....
It has been ages since i blogged. the past few weeks have been really really busy. Besides the regular MJ sessions that we had, my mind is practically just on work, coming back home every evening - take care of the mess the dogs created, have dinner with Ah Kee, rest early and wake up to go work. It has been a rough ride since, and i forsee that to be the situation for the next coming months.
Not too sure if it has been mis-expectations on my end about the job which i had accepted last Dec... the new boss and work environment that i had embraced with full conviction. The solid confidence has since been chipped off by little little events and developments. Was the leap really too wide a gap for me to reach? It set me thinking if i am really suited for this job as a career path. But then again, i have been gaining various areas of satisfaction from work, deals closed, new connections made, new exposure gained...
Was it time again for a career move???? I've learnt through the hard way that 5 years is definitetly too long a duration to stay at a single company if there is not much of progress. But 1 year???? seems to be too short huh... Trying to grasp as much control as i could, how do i give myself that opportunity to push on when i wasnt about to be given that opportunity by others. I gathered that there is only so much that is in my control, there's only so much that i can do, for myself, my pride, my job.
Sometimes i really feel that humans do make things difficult for themselves. No challenges - - - life is boring and stagnant, there is no achievement or sense of satisfaction. Too challenging - - we are so stressed up that we couldnt operate at the optimum level.
Not too sure if it has been mis-expectations on my end about the job which i had accepted last Dec... the new boss and work environment that i had embraced with full conviction. The solid confidence has since been chipped off by little little events and developments. Was the leap really too wide a gap for me to reach? It set me thinking if i am really suited for this job as a career path. But then again, i have been gaining various areas of satisfaction from work, deals closed, new connections made, new exposure gained...
Was it time again for a career move???? I've learnt through the hard way that 5 years is definitetly too long a duration to stay at a single company if there is not much of progress. But 1 year???? seems to be too short huh... Trying to grasp as much control as i could, how do i give myself that opportunity to push on when i wasnt about to be given that opportunity by others. I gathered that there is only so much that is in my control, there's only so much that i can do, for myself, my pride, my job.
Sometimes i really feel that humans do make things difficult for themselves. No challenges - - - life is boring and stagnant, there is no achievement or sense of satisfaction. Too challenging - - we are so stressed up that we couldnt operate at the optimum level.
I will take this as another learning experience since i left comfort zone with RE. Life may be better, pasture may be greener but hey, let's be practical and realistic, we will hit bald patches and hallucinated scenes of loveliness and well-being.
Luckily for me while i had my darkest moments of emotional caved-ins, i found myself having multiple hands and paws supporting me in semi-darkness (where even i couldnt see what's up ahead, whats around me). But those were warm comforting holds who took turns to support me. They gave me strength to push on and perserve for better opportunities and life to come by...
So i am telling myself that i will do the best to my ability, treat my loved ones well. We may leave behind a great reputation, a great name... but hey, these are eventually all memories, at most remembered for just a while. Come end of the day, we all end up in ashes, dont we?
I dont want life to be only be monetary gains and possessions. I want to be at peace with myself.
posted by Wendy @ 9:18 AM
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