08 Dec 06 Friday
We came back home to find Cookie lying around. Thought tht it was her usual self, there wer several pools of dried up urine and a big pool of vomit look alike stuff.. Cookie didnt eat her breakfast in the morning, thus i deduced that the pool of stuff should have been Valent's as he was also roaming the place beside Cookie.
didnt thought that anything was different with ah girl, i set down to clean up the place. It was only when Ah Kee realised that she was lying in her own urine when we were slightly alarmed...
cookie couldnt move. we propped her up, that didnt help her. She stood that for half a minute (or even lesser). She didnt take any step forward with our constant coaxings.
I thought she was feeling naughty again and didnt think much of it. Washed her up, blowed her dry. Offered her water, to my delight and surprise she took it in. I thought that Cookie has felt better. By then, she wasnt wagging her tail even when we mentioned her name. she still didnt want any food. We could feel that her breathing was labourious and have decided to bring her to the vet on saturday..
I set her to bed soon after. around 2.45am, i was alarmed by ah kee's voice. Cookie has soiled herself with her watery stools. And the more larming thing is that her eye balls were twitching beyond her control.
thats when we rushed her to emergency clinic.
Cookie, come back safely. . .
This home needs you....
Dont ignore us...
we are your loved ones, arent we..
Dont not recognise us...
Come back safely.
We love you...
Its not your time yet...
you have done nothing to deserve this...
we will ride through this together..
Come back Cookie...
Please.... Dear Lord, almighty Lord...
I know that I have not been diligent in my faith
its not Cookie's fault.. Let the suffering be on me...
Let her come back home safely... let her be well once more..
Come back...Cookie...
safely... swiftly..
We love you.
Reunion of a long lost friend.....
We are finally reunited after a period of 1 year and 2 months... I must say that its all thanks to Casey who took the "real initiative" to insist and arrange for the meetup. It wasnt as "scary" and awkward as i imagine it to be.
Casey, actually i am glad that my blog can invoke some actions from you as my previous attempts weren't met with full conviction from you. But i was impressed with your persistent attempts and efforts in making sure that i turned up. Anyway, you know what i mean. I am also glad that CK turned up.. the situation didnt seem complete till he arrived with his classic way of making sure that whatever past episodes had its necessary closure.
I am glad things turn out well. :)
confused....
I AM ONE CONFUSED BITCH~~~~~!!! Arrggghh
The Space
If you love me and care for me, you will give me enough space to move around
If you trust me, you know that whatever i do , it is not meant to hurt you or undermine you
If you understand me, you know that i will share whatever i can with you in due time. I just need that space at this time
Even as good friends, we may be at different stage of life and have different needs and goals, I don't mean to hide, bluff or be untruthfully to you
Though i have been promised i won't be judged, shouldn't judge and i shouldn't doubt that i would be judged, but I can't help but be wary and eventually judged that i might be judged...
Why can't things be simple and uncomplicated? Where emotions are invested and not expected to be given that level of reciprocal committment
Recently i thought of Jasmine. Still feeling sorry that things turned out the way it did. how things had gotten so out of control.. the emotions that got more and more complicated after we think and rethink the events in our heads
I started to think if it was even necessary then. Guess everyone was feeling raged and confused. Everyone had a certain level of expectations of being understood, a certain level given that beneift of doubt and mutually compromise.
Happy Birthday, Jacylnn....
Smitten with My Lovely SamSoon
I don't know what went wrong with mebut i actually went to spend like S$38 on the OST for My Lovely SamSoon.... which I accidentally found out that there is a OST 2 ..... hahahaha... (here I come.... : P)All the tracks inside are just so enchanting and soothing...felt like a revisit to a few years back when I was so obsessed with the Taiwan series, "Liu Xing Hua Yuan - Meteor Garden with F4 and Shan Cai..." Bought the whole set of the 2 series as well as their respectively OST... Hmmm, just can't get over the romantic scenes and the handsome dudes in my head.... Maybe its stories of seeing the dramatic changes in these guys who had carefree, bossy attitudes who will do whatever they please and whose hearts were so completely won over by the least possible girls. These guys fell heads over heels in love with them, surprising not for their looks and appearance... Was her cheery and optimistic disposition the reason why the moody male leads had turned around with romance instead??? Loving the female leads with feverish passion...Its a sweet and funny show, reflecting bits of the Korean mindset and thinking in the pursuit of the perfect romance.
I guess miraculous love stories are still very much capable of fuelling and tugging at the lonely hearts of today's society who may seems to possess the best of materials but lack the quality aspects of a relationship.
Ages....
It has been ages since i blogged. the past few weeks have been really really busy. Besides the regular MJ sessions that we had, my mind is practically just on work, coming back home every evening - take care of the mess the dogs created, have dinner with Ah Kee, rest early and wake up to go work. It has been a rough ride since, and i forsee that to be the situation for the next coming months.
Not too sure if it has been mis-expectations on my end about the job which i had accepted last Dec... the new boss and work environment that i had embraced with full conviction. The solid confidence has since been chipped off by little little events and developments. Was the leap really too wide a gap for me to reach? It set me thinking if i am really suited for this job as a career path. But then again, i have been gaining various areas of satisfaction from work, deals closed, new connections made, new exposure gained...
Was it time again for a career move???? I've learnt through the hard way that 5 years is definitetly too long a duration to stay at a single company if there is not much of progress. But 1 year???? seems to be too short huh... Trying to grasp as much control as i could, how do i give myself that opportunity to push on when i wasnt about to be given that opportunity by others. I gathered that there is only so much that is in my control, there's only so much that i can do, for myself, my pride, my job.
Sometimes i really feel that humans do make things difficult for themselves. No challenges - - - life is boring and stagnant, there is no achievement or sense of satisfaction. Too challenging - - we are so stressed up that we couldnt operate at the optimum level.
I will take this as another learning experience since i left comfort zone with RE. Life may be better, pasture may be greener but hey, let's be practical and realistic, we will hit bald patches and hallucinated scenes of loveliness and well-being.
Luckily for me while i had my darkest moments of emotional caved-ins, i found myself having multiple hands and paws supporting me in semi-darkness (where even i couldnt see what's up ahead, whats around me). But those were warm comforting holds who took turns to support me. They gave me strength to push on and perserve for better opportunities and life to come by...
So i am telling myself that i will do the best to my ability, treat my loved ones well. We may leave behind a great reputation, a great name... but hey, these are eventually all memories, at most remembered for just a while. Come end of the day, we all end up in ashes, dont we?
I dont want life to be only be monetary gains and possessions. I want to be at peace with myself.
my love style.....
| Your Love Style is Agape |
 You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love. |
